Thursday, May 31, 2007

WTF AM I DOING TO MYSELF

WTF??? HOW CAN HE RUN SO FUCKING GOOD AGAINST ME? YEA... PICK UP A HAND IN THE RITE SPOT FOR THE LAST HAND, HIT A RIVER TWO OUTER ON ME ALL IN PREFLOP AFTER I HIT TOP PAIR, FLOP A FULL HOUSE VS MY FLUSH? WTF!? he sux- i hope he burns in hell fuckin cocksucker

How can I run so fucking bad? Y did I ever even take a shot with $120? Jesus Titty Fucking Christ... Once I get my Rakeback, I will ship it back to my friend, and I'm done with online poker. No lie.. I am just not responsible enough I can't handle the ridic fucking retarded swings. I will post some hands as much as I FUCKING HATE IT- up $600 earlier? O, now stuck $1700? Fucking Wonderful!!!

early in the match- how bad he plays http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137085

Finally hit a fckin hand...http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137088

Tryin somethin new to get more value...http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137090

Wut a fckin donk- http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137091

Get lucky ONCE on him..http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137092

My first mistake; he wuz RELE TILTING AND SPEWING AND PLAYING SO BAD and he just quickly shoved... he's so fckin bad I can't believe wtf happened here... he hit EVERY FUCKING HAND AFTER THIS! http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137093

Wonderful fuckin cooler...http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137098

Jesus Christ will it ever fucking end? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137099

Another miracle? Why not? Yea, I called river, but who the fck puts 2x in his range or 3x? WTF? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137100

Wonderful shove by him preflop... river 5 outs... 9T>AQ http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137104

Fun river fucking two outer http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137106

To be honest, how can I keep doing this to msyelf? How come I keep taking shots out of my roll? Have I lost my fucking head? How come I keep going after I get up high? Yes, he spews like hell, but he hits hands like a fucking shithead too. Jesus... this is the ONLY SESSION HE'S GOTTEN THE BEST OF ME OUT OF LIKE THE 6 WE'VE PLAYED... I'm probably even all time over him. Ok, not playing online poker again. I will kick my addiction and wait until I'm fucking more mature to handle the retarded bullshit, and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER FUCKING SHOT AGAIN NO MATTER WUT. EVER. I have enough money for high skool, so wtf am I doing trying this bullshit? I'll invest that $6k from before, live my life, and be happy. Focus on fucking skool and maybe lifting- Christ this fucks up the fucking emotions....End of fucking blog

Thanx for watching me struggle and grind for 99% of the time only to run bad and play over my head like a shithead for 2 hours out of maybe the 80 i've played? Yea, I'm a real fucking dumbfuck alrite. I CAN ONLY BLAME MYSELF. THIS IS SO FUCKING TOUGH TO ADMIT TO BUT IT IS TRUE- MY OWN IRRESPONISIBLITY AND NOT KNOWING WHAT A TRUE DOLLAR IS WORTH HAS COMPLETELY FUCKING BEEN MY OWN DOWNFALL. What does this trace too? Hubris: excessive pride. Why? Because I played two fucking shitheads heads up, losing my $3300 roll, and now my $2400 roll. I just don't know what to say. WTF am I thinking? I should be happy I can look back and have won that $6k in Feb because thats the only thing I've gotten good out of online poker. Honestly, I'm just so happy that I decided to not even think of being a professional poker player. Ugh, Lord, I don't know what to say. For a long time I wil hate myself for being such a fucking idiot. I learned SO MANY TIMES FROM BEFORE TO HAVE GOOD ROLL MANAGEMENT. AND WHAT DO I FUCKING DO? RISK TOO MUCH FOR TOO LITTLE OF A GAIN. REGARDLESS, I HAD AN EDGE VS THE FUCKING IDIOTS, VARIANCE OF COURSE RAPES MY ASSHOLE AGAIN. I'm going to do some studying then go to fucking bed and forget about online poker altogether. It is a waste of time and I will just enjoy not having too many responsibilities at this point. IF I EVEN THINK OF PLAYING WITH THAT $1600 IN 15 DAYS, I will never go over my head again. I'm serious... I just can't...However, I don't think I will. I just can't really incorporate poker into a balanced life- I'm too fucking high strung. If I have a good day, I feel a little better than if I had not played, but if I have a shit day, I rele feel like complete shit. Losses feel a fuckload shittier than wins feel good. Yea so, hopefully I'll... never play online poker again? Not at least for another year and a half or so? If I have that kind of discipline, I'll be one hapy motherfucker. I'll try to spend my points soon, if I do end up xferring back that $1600 to my friend when I get it.

Good End to the Night

Roll- $2400
Status for day- $+600 (3 BI at $1/$2 nl)
Won $30 today at plo, 570 at nlhe playing 921 hands winning 16BB/100 playing 24/19/3.75.
I think I wuz rele on my game today and motivated, and I love playing 4 or 5 tables at once. From now on, I won't have it any other way. I play my best, don't get burned out, and have probably the best winrate in that situation. I duno y I wuz tempted to play 9 tables; it wuz probably becuz I wuz only playing hands when I raise and almost never calling preflop, and since the game is so aggro, one can probably only open 1/7 hands? Yea so, neway, I love playing this many tables where poker know-how rele kicks in and good reads can be made. Hands:

It's fun to have a laggy image :) I love how I played this hand...http://www.pokerhand.org/?1136797

OK well, I don't like this guy's c/c on flop and turn, then donking river sorta weakish with this monster hand... but I definitely coolered him jeez the money is going in regardless neway!
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1136800

I felt I wuz committed postflop in the hand, and felt it wuz more likely air or Ax rather than JT, and defeinitely didn't expect set. Haha I lucksack turn turn- http://www.pokerhand.org/?1136802

Hopefully will grind out a nice roll; I'll xfer back to my friend when I get to a total of maybe $7k (7k-1600 becuz I will get that rakeback), so $5400 total. This is a certainly attainable goal, and then when I get that, I'll be grindin the $1/$2 nl 4tabling or 5tabling for a while, with maybe some PLO thrown in...To be honest I'm probably a bit better at PLO than NLHE and have a better understanding of equity advantages; it's so much easier to play PLO than NLHE becuz it's a lot harder to bluff in PLO and you're drawing mainly for the nuts, but in NLHE, top pair could be good for a big pot, and 2nd nut flush couldn't. To be honest, I'd say NLHE is a more complex game, despite PLO having twice as many cards! NLHE is so much more pyschological and about reads, but PLO is about the cards mainly: knowing ur equity in pots mainly and taking advantage of those small edges. Yes, that is a definite part of NLHE, but I'd say the PLO game is much more aggro than the NLHE game, and in raised pots in PLO if people play a pot, at least 60% of the time it's for stacks. Neway, wish me luck this week in NLHE while I try to focus on my studies; skool gets out june 15 ship it! (haha same day i get myrakeback!)

Sorta Boring but Fun Day

Won $71 in NHLE playing $1/$2 after a friend loaned me $1700- played 4 tables (more fun than just grinding 9 to be honest). Won $44 in hu PLO vs a donk that ran fairly well vs me. Played ONE hand bad all day so I'm happy (where I overthought and rele coulda sworn the guy had a set...) and sorta got coolered out of the other hands I lost.

I like this play...I thought about c/rai on flop, but I didn't want anyone to check behind. With these stacks and the $ in the pot, I just made a big bet on flop with overs+OESD. On the blank turn, I assumed he had Jx, Tx, or draw. I assumed my KQ high wuz good vs other draws, and with the $ in the pot I decided I'd just go with the hand and shove vs his stack size. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1136381

I don't like his c/r on turn... If I were him I woulda c/r on flop. His flatcall on flop and c/min ray on turn wuz a little scary; I assumed it wuz RELE weak or better T or full house. So it wuz WA/WB situation. NEVER woulda put him on the hand he had. river wuz J, I thought I wuzn't getting value shoving here and getting called by worse, so I just called. Turns out he just rivered a pretty decent hand, and I guess i coulda gotten value. People took rele weird lines vs me today...? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1136385

Had seen him playing tight preflop, and ruled out QT from his range since I assume he would check behind flop with that. So that wuz not an option; assumed he would bet flop and check behind turn even with hand like 78s. Therefore, I put him exactly on 666 or 999 ( I know, retarded). I decided I would just call down just becuz I couldn't him on a worse hand the way he wuz playing (I assumed KQ vs and UTG raise or KT wuz out of his range...) Turns out he had AK- VERY shocked he didn't reraise preflop with this. Neway, I overanalyzed like a retard and coulda shoved... this wuz the only hand I played bad. BTW, I only called here becuz it wuz a mulitway pot and we all had decent stacks... i rarely do this but I can't play RELE rockish I can call here becuz of implied odds becuz I know I can get away from a single top pair hand and such. http://www.pokerhand.org/?1136406

It's fun when an idiot hits runnres to counterfeit my two pair. I wuz almost sure I would get the $ in on the flop and he wousl shove, but he just called. Worse turn card ever came, and I didn't want to turn my hand into a bluff (WA/WB vs overpair becuz he either had diamond or he didn't). Didn't want to bluff river, so I checked it... I shoulda bluffed tho... he checked behind turn so quick I wuz afraid he ha da flush tho so yea very gay the diamond slowed the action on the turn and that he ended up suckin out on riv... http://www.pokerhand.org/?1136397

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I'm done- ran great

Yea so, busted out of MTT when I wuz RELE low (16BB at the 50/100 level), and button opened to 300. I called with 1600 in chips to start the hand. I decided before I called I wuz going to stop n go. Thats wut I did on the J78 flop, of course he called with KK. I love how the 9d comes on the turn to give me the OESD and flush draw for false hope, then I blank the river. Then, I just lost an SNG when the blinds were high, 3 handed (6max $50+5 1 table sng), donk blind raised, I shoved AJo from the BB, he calls with AA. Great... then shorstacking for my last $225 becuz I wuz getting RELE impatient from running bad... button opened to 35, I shoved in $225 total, he called with AQ. Flop J33, turn 6, river A. YAY, another coinflip lost!!!! :) I'm tired of online poker it's so fckin frustrating. Tho I would like to make $ from it, it's somewut boring and it's more of a habit becuz Im an addict rather than fun. I think what Imma do is GRIND the $1600 (starting at .50/1 and dropping down if I even lose 1 BI) OR just cash it out for $1088 and find something cool to spend that on. The good thing is I'll have enough money to buy things like entertainment for the next year or so, then when I'm in mid 20's ill take that $6k out of the stock market I would put in and expect to get like $14k total or so... So yea, no need for money... I don't no y I play poker it stresses me out. My motivation...? To have fun and to win, though I have no real goal, which is probably the main thing holding me back. I just don't have enough motivation, no matter what, to grind and wait to move up through the limits. I should probably wait until I'm out of college before I play again... tho if I do get that $1600, theres' a 60% chance I'll keep it online- ONCE IN A WHILE take a shot at a small cash game for the hell of it or play a $24+2 (NO BIGGER THIS HAS TO LAST ME FOR A WHILE!) Donkament to try to get a good score. So yea, thats my epiphony. Good thing- I made $1600 this month from RB. Bad thing... I had $5700 in my account like a week and a half ago but just has been an unreal rocky ride from then and I just can't grasp the concept of the $ that I am losing... I have no real concept for money online because I can't see it, and I'm just in disbelief that I have it until I see it at $0. FUUUCK. PT Stats for month:

59,800 hands total (ALL holdem not just nlhe)... winning $1700

NLHE Stats:
46,500 hands playing 29/25/3.5 winning $3,055 at 4BB/100. Yea, so anyway, since I won $1700 total according to my PT, and paid that back $2700 loan to my friend earlier this month, I won $1k in PLO. I lost... $1300 in LHE (damn)... :-( I can't believe my discipline and roll management sux so hard. Poker has made me be sort of careless and has put things out of perspective... If all possible I would like to quit and focus on school...so happy I paid back those loans tho but damn if I had good roll management I woulda made SOO Much fckin money!! I'm outta control seriously... if I'm stuck I chase losses/move up. WTF is wrong with me? How many times have I had this convo with myself? I should wait till longer and I'm more responsible to play online poker seriously. I just don't want it to be wasted $ I could be making because I'm not playing and my skill is sharpest now. Ok. Over this blog post I have decided on something: I will play cash games regularly when I get my rakeback, but ONLY for a short amount of time (1k hands/day max playing 4-9 tables depending on how I feel), I will play my normal solid LAG game, and I will make sure that I have ALWAYS AT LEAST 30 BI! Yes, tough... meaning I need to have $3k before I start .50/1 nlhe, etc. I will NEVER chase losses... if I take a bad beat if I feel vengeful I'll stop. My motivation- a challnege to myself to see if I can have good life balance and make some money while playing very intelligently and not fucking around. If I break even for month, Ill still make like $750 in rakeback so yea.. Max loss in a session= -3BI. I cannot come back to poker for the rest of that day! If I lose two days in a row, I will look through PT for big hands and reeval game, while moving down a limit! So yea, -6BI in two days= move down a limit. I'm ready... I've realized 20 BI is just not enough to play with to be honest, and that it still allows me to go on tilt and affects my roll enough to pyschologically effect me into trying to get unstuck and play somewut bad. Also, NEVER TAKE A SHOT EVER! NEVER. BTW, 30 BI rule will apply for PLO... I'm definitley getting better at it tho so I will keep playing it becuz I've plugged the leaks in my game and playing well. Wish me luck for next month updates to follow. Good luck for next month this is a much needed reflecting/discipline break! I'M SO FUCKING STUPID...

Best fold I've Made in my Whole Life

Honestly, best fold I've ever made. In a tourney... with top two on a drawy board in a minraised pot!!!!??!!! Yea... check this

Dealer: Hand #2537255857
Dealer: XXXX posts the small blind of 15
Dealer: Spike06fr posts the big blind of 30
Dealer: You have been dealt [9s Qd]
Dealer: ClayDoja raises to 60
Dealer: BetBetBet calls 60
Dealer: LEADBOOTS folds
Dealer: outfoxxed calls 60
Dealer: SPIRITSLAYER folds
Dealer: aaajack folds
Dealer: Stuart Paterson calls 60
Dealer: XXXX calls 45
Dealer: Spike06fr folds
Dealer: The flop is [Qc 2d 9d]
Dealer: XXXX checks
Dealer: ClayDoja bets 225
Dealer: BetBetBet calls 225
Dealer: outfoxxed folds
Dealer: Stuart Paterson folds
Dealer: XXXX raises to 900
Dealer: ClayDoja calls 675
Dealer: BetBetBet raises to 2,780, and is all in
Dealer: XXXX folds
Dealer: ClayDoja calls 1,880
Dealer: BetBetBet shows [2s 2h]
Dealer: ClayDoja shows [Kd 7d]
Dealer: The turn is [8s]
Dealer: The river is [Ts]
Dealer: BetBetBet shows three of a kind, Twos
Dealer: ClayDoja shows King Queen high
Dealer: BetBetBet wins the pot (6,790) with three of a kind,
Twos


Yes, it's fun to fold top two on a drawy board. I'm SOO happy the hands were shown cuz I wouldnta been able to go to sleep at nite unless I wuz sure that guy had a set haha. Well, this fold will hopefully give me the confidence to rape this tourney. Luckily, I have 68BB or so, so thats PLENTY to work with, and luckily these are early stages. I know BetBetBet is a very solid player, so after he flatcalled flop I figured him for a pretty decent draw (KTdd, ATdd, etc). Then after I c/r the flop big, and the other guy smoothcalled, then BetBetBet came over the top, I knew i wuz a goner. Shocked at me folding that since in a cash game I've never made that kind of foold ever :) Wish me luck for later in the tourney!!

UNREAL Stupid Judgement Yesterday and Decision

So yea, I try to look at the positive things. Neway, I sat at a 5/10 hu with a complete donk yesterday and bought in $200 with a $3300 roll. I won $600 off him quickly, and was at an $800 stack. Then, his a3dd rivered my j6s on the flop of J36 two diamonds and he rivered a diamond. Neway, I tilted, rebought $1k cuz he wuz so stupid, and just lost $ after missing and crap postflop. Got down to $1k, lost shortstacking some $2/$4 nl and soforth, and ended up at $600 (!) Neway, I'm in a 150+13 today and in a $24+2 now... hopefuly I can get a good score here. The good thing is that I will get my $1500 or so of RB in Mid June. This is good because I've decided I won't play cash games unless it's a weekend, and wont play very much in general. I will once in a while play a donkament, and I'll try to stick to those to improve my game, maybe an SNG here or there. To be honest, I don't have the patience for cash game roll management. I HATE grinding to be perfectly honest, and it's just not fun anymore. I used to think tourneys were very boring. However, tho they have TONS more variance, I'm rele motivated to be competing for something rather than just waiting to flop big hands to play big pots. I'll play thes for a while and maybe get a decent score so I can play at least $1/$2nl cash games where the stakes will motivate m.e I stil have $300 after the two tourney entries, so wish me luck. Neway, the good thing about this month: I won ~$1800 or $1900 in rakeback and my roll now and paid off my loans, so this is all profit. I'm like on a freeroll (which is actually the wrong mentality and the reason I took the shot at 5/10 vs the idiot lucksack). I'm a little too upset to post hands, and I will post stats at end of month. Wish me luck in these donkaments!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Yea, I run rele bad at LHE

71 hands, lost $278 at -59BB/100 at $3/6 and $5/$10 6max limit holdem. WTF... I feel another shit streak coming on... fuck! Was playing well too...

Lovely river diamond hits in a $150 pot to the river...

FullTiltPoker Game #2525632830: Table STL (speed, 6 max) - $5/$10 - Limit Hold'em - 0:14:52 ET - 2007/05/28
Seat 1: McDuckScrooge ($303)
Seat 2: john_wildcard ($216)
Seat 3: joohyeon ($158)
Seat 4: swizznu ($323.50)
Seat 5: kor44 ($390), is sitting out
Seat 6: XXXX ($105)
john_wildcard posts the small blind of $2.50
joohyeon posts the big blind of $5
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to XXXX [Kh Kc]
swizznu folds
XXXX raises to $10
McDuckScrooge raises to $15
john_wildcard folds
joohyeon calls $10
XXXX raises to $20
McDuckScrooge calls $5
joohyeon calls $5
*** FLOP *** [6d 2d 9d]
joohyeon checks
XXXX bets $5
McDuckScrooge raises to $10
joohyeon calls $10
XXXX raises to $15
McDuckScrooge calls $5
joohyeon calls $5
kor44 has returned
*** TURN *** [6d 2d 9d] [6s]
joohyeon checks
XXXX bets $10
McDuckScrooge raises to $20
joohyeon calls $20
XXXX calls $10
*** RIVER *** [6d 2d 9d 6s] [3d]
joohyeon bets $10
XXXX folds
XXXX adds $50
McDuckScrooge raises to $20
joohyeon calls $10
*** SHOW DOWN ***
McDuckScrooge shows [Ad Qh] (a flush, Ace high)
joohyeon mucks
McDuckScrooge wins the pot ($204.50) with a flush, Ace high
joohyeon is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $207.50 Rake $3
Board: [6d 2d 9d 6s 3d]
Seat 1: McDuckScrooge (button) showed [Ad Qh] and won ($204.50) with a flush, Ace high
Seat 2: john_wildcard (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: joohyeon (big blind) mucked [Jh Kd] - a flush, King high
Seat 4: swizznu didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: kor44 is sitting out
Seat 6: XXXX folded on the River

Perfect river card in another very large pot...
FullTiltPoker Game #2525633551: Table Joann (6 max) - $3/$6 - Limit Hold'em - 0:14:58 ET - 2007/05/28
Seat 1: gone752002 ($282.50)
Seat 2: mizak11 ($395)
Seat 3: XXXX ($60)
Seat 4: jkk4life ($105.50)
Seat 5: ricahonndo ($92.50)
Seat 6: Pfeil ($262), is sitting out
jkk4life posts the small blind of $1.50
ricahonndo posts the big blind of $3
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to XXXX [7d 5d]
gone752002 raises to $6
mizak11 calls $6
XXXX calls $6
jkk4life calls $4.50
ricahonndo calls $3
*** FLOP *** [3d Qd 7h]
jkk4life bets $3
ricahonndo calls $3
gone752002 folds
mizak11 raises to $6
XXXX raises to $9
jkk4life folds
ricahonndo has 15 seconds left to act
ricahonndo folds
Pfeil stands up
mizak11 raises to $12
XXXX calls $3
*** TURN *** [3d Qd 7h] [5h]
mizak11 bets $6
XXXX raises to $12
mizak11 raises to $18
XXXX raises to $24
mizak11 calls $6
*** RIVER *** [3d Qd 7h 5h] [Tc]
mizak11 checks
XXXX bets $6
mizak11 calls $6
*** SHOW DOWN ***
XXXX shows [7d 5d] (two pair, Sevens and Fives)
mizak11 shows [Th Qh] (two pair, Queens and Tens)
mizak11 wins the pot ($117) with two pair, Queens and Tens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $120 Rake $3
Board: [3d Qd 7h 5h Tc]
Seat 1: gone752002 folded on the Flop
Seat 2: mizak11 showed [Th Qh] and won ($117) with two pair, Queens and Tens
Seat 3: XXXX (button) showed [7d 5d] and lost with two pair, Sevens and Fives
Seat 4: jkk4life (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 5: ricahonndo (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 6: Pfeil is sitting out

Wish me luck- I think I'll be playing some limit to be perfectly honest. I wuz watching a few limit videos, and I'm understanding it a LOT now and I'm getting better. Roll is at $3k now, so yea, tripling my roll from 2 days ago is still a great accomplishment, so I should embellish on that. Grrr for now tho and my -$300 tonite (still $+250 for today, but pissed about that retarded 5 outer hit on me in the MTT for that monster pot early on that woulda had me in good position to maneuver around and go deep, while just abusing others early on to rele accumulate a mound of chips.