WTF AM I DOING TO MYSELF

WTF??? HOW CAN HE RUN SO FUCKING GOOD AGAINST ME? YEA... PICK UP A HAND IN THE RITE SPOT FOR THE LAST HAND, HIT A RIVER TWO OUTER ON ME ALL IN PREFLOP AFTER I HIT TOP PAIR, FLOP A FULL HOUSE VS MY FLUSH? WTF!? he sux- i hope he burns in hell fuckin cocksucker

How can I run so fucking bad? Y did I ever even take a shot with $120? Jesus Titty Fucking Christ... Once I get my Rakeback, I will ship it back to my friend, and I'm done with online poker. No lie.. I am just not responsible enough I can't handle the ridic fucking retarded swings. I will post some hands as much as I FUCKING HATE IT- up $600 earlier? O, now stuck $1700? Fucking Wonderful!!!

early in the match- how bad he plays http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137085

Finally hit a fckin hand...http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137088

Tryin somethin new to get more value...http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137090

Wut a fckin donk- http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137091

Get lucky ONCE on him..http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137092

My first mistake; he wuz RELE TILTING AND SPEWING AND PLAYING SO BAD and he just quickly shoved... he's so fckin bad I can't believe wtf happened here... he hit EVERY FUCKING HAND AFTER THIS! http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137093

Wonderful fuckin cooler...http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137098

Jesus Christ will it ever fucking end? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137099

Another miracle? Why not? Yea, I called river, but who the fck puts 2x in his range or 3x? WTF? http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137100

Wonderful shove by him preflop... river 5 outs... 9T>AQ http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137104

Fun river fucking two outer http://www.pokerhand.org/?1137106

To be honest, how can I keep doing this to msyelf? How come I keep taking shots out of my roll? Have I lost my fucking head? How come I keep going after I get up high? Yes, he spews like hell, but he hits hands like a fucking shithead too. Jesus... this is the ONLY SESSION HE'S GOTTEN THE BEST OF ME OUT OF LIKE THE 6 WE'VE PLAYED... I'm probably even all time over him. Ok, not playing online poker again. I will kick my addiction and wait until I'm fucking more mature to handle the retarded bullshit, and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER FUCKING SHOT AGAIN NO MATTER WUT. EVER. I have enough money for high skool, so wtf am I doing trying this bullshit? I'll invest that $6k from before, live my life, and be happy. Focus on fucking skool and maybe lifting- Christ this fucks up the fucking emotions....End of fucking blog

Thanx for watching me struggle and grind for 99% of the time only to run bad and play over my head like a shithead for 2 hours out of maybe the 80 i've played? Yea, I'm a real fucking dumbfuck alrite. I CAN ONLY BLAME MYSELF. THIS IS SO FUCKING TOUGH TO ADMIT TO BUT IT IS TRUE- MY OWN IRRESPONISIBLITY AND NOT KNOWING WHAT A TRUE DOLLAR IS WORTH HAS COMPLETELY FUCKING BEEN MY OWN DOWNFALL. What does this trace too? Hubris: excessive pride. Why? Because I played two fucking shitheads heads up, losing my $3300 roll, and now my $2400 roll. I just don't know what to say. WTF am I thinking? I should be happy I can look back and have won that $6k in Feb because thats the only thing I've gotten good out of online poker. Honestly, I'm just so happy that I decided to not even think of being a professional poker player. Ugh, Lord, I don't know what to say. For a long time I wil hate myself for being such a fucking idiot. I learned SO MANY TIMES FROM BEFORE TO HAVE GOOD ROLL MANAGEMENT. AND WHAT DO I FUCKING DO? RISK TOO MUCH FOR TOO LITTLE OF A GAIN. REGARDLESS, I HAD AN EDGE VS THE FUCKING IDIOTS, VARIANCE OF COURSE RAPES MY ASSHOLE AGAIN. I'm going to do some studying then go to fucking bed and forget about online poker altogether. It is a waste of time and I will just enjoy not having too many responsibilities at this point. IF I EVEN THINK OF PLAYING WITH THAT $1600 IN 15 DAYS, I will never go over my head again. I'm serious... I just can't...However, I don't think I will. I just can't really incorporate poker into a balanced life- I'm too fucking high strung. If I have a good day, I feel a little better than if I had not played, but if I have a shit day, I rele feel like complete shit. Losses feel a fuckload shittier than wins feel good. Yea so, hopefully I'll... never play online poker again? Not at least for another year and a half or so? If I have that kind of discipline, I'll be one hapy motherfucker. I'll try to spend my points soon, if I do end up xferring back that $1600 to my friend when I get it.