WTF @ How I Fucking Run in MTTs

Jesus Christ, I swear... y in the fuck do I run so fucking bad in these stupid fucking things? Yea, so neway, some fuckin idiot and I were 70BB deep in our MTT (VERY deep at these early 30/60 stages with ~4200 in chips each). This is the HH; I did not realize how small my reraise was preflop to be honest... otherwise I woulda made it bigger. Anyway, he called (like the idiot he is), c/rai when he wuz getting called by nothing he beats, and hit his lovely 5 outer on me all the turn for a MONSTER pot when all the money went in. I think that if I won that 10k chip pot, I woulda been at least in the top 10 chip position, and had...166BB (WOW in an MTT) and I woulda just fuckin destroyed later on with that chipstack. Yea, one day...I rele wuz fucking motivated to play. That retarded bullshit made me unregister for the $109 30k gtd which I wuz rele looking forward to tonite. I cannot believe I am so pissed over a $24 buyin tournament. It just is so frustrating to RELE care about something and know you're betting there most others playing in the field (I mean come on very few good players play in the $24+2 26k gtd tourney), and you can never make it deep because you run like fucking ass. At least I've been running good the past few days and made one hell of a comeback from the $1k I wuz at on friday. So yea, that's good. Maybe a friend of mine will stake me in some big tournies like the 109, 150+13, or the 400k gtd for $200+15 soon. I can't wait until I get another opportunity at a decent donkament where I REALLY feel like playing, because I know if I run well, holy sht I'll go far. It's fairly sick cuz I wuz runnin pretty good in the 24+2 (had KK once already and doubled up, and doubled up again with AA vs AK vs AJ after AK minraised and flatcalled a reraise preflop from UTG, then open potted Kxxdd flop...) Yea, so after doubling up twice early on with good cards, then getting bullshitted, it wuz just more gay false hope that can be added to my great feat of failures in the world of MTTs and online poker in general... lol wtf@ my attitude... not exactly sure y it's getting to me so much... wish me luck tomorrow I'll probably play a one hour session or so from like 10:30-11:30, then after lunch around noon I'll hopefully set up excercise equipment and do some long-needed lifting, followed by a load of work I've been procrastinating with on this long and much-needed holiday break. Updates to come tomorrow.