Important Decision

Concerta- fuck that shit. Started taking since Monday and almost completely ineffective @ 18mg. Today, took two 18mg tablets as directed, and it BARELY helped, as well as me feeling the worst I've ever felt. Slight stomach ache/hunger (very strange contradicting feelings) the whole day as well as unreal depression I've never felt in my whole life. I will stop taking this shit immediately; maybe get a prescription for Addherall XR for ONCE IN A WHILE becuz I wuzn't depressed when I took that and it actually WORKED. I'll take it once in a while for important tests or having to do important projects or shit. Yea, causes ridic insomnia but I'll live with that once in a while to avoid all the fuckin gay side effects of Concerta.
Sorry, back to poker. Neway, My roll is now $1k. I have lost motivation to play for a while and don't want to spew money. I will wait till play until mid June (When I get my rakeback) to decide what my plans are. I mite cash out all my money and not play poker again until later and I have motivation to succeed. At this point, I don't rele have anything to spend money on because I have enough to last me for a long time for movies, food, etc, and I don't have anything I really want to buy (on poker I'm opposite of nit, but in real life I hate spending large sums of money unless I RELE wunt something which is a rare occasion). So yea, I will start this challenge up in Mid June. MAYBE A DONKAMENT once in a while on weekends to pass the time if I'm motivated, though I will try to just make it lik ea whole month w/o it. I hope I don't feel slight withdrawl, since poker has had a mental hold on me. I will go through my total summary of poker this month with my Pokertracker. I'm probably not mature enough to handle the ridic swings and time constraints poker can put on me, so I mite have to wait longer than Mid June. If I still don't want to play then, I'll cash out all money and invest it or other productive ways to get me maybe a small income without the ridic instability or lack of social contact that poker ensues.

Holdem PT Stats (overall)
46k hands; 30/25/3; winning $4100 @ 3.81BB/100
Biggest winners- AA and KK ($4415 net @6BB/100 and 3388 @ 5.75/100) Nice to see I'm playing my big pairs well and they're holding. Pretty much All top hands are my biggest winners showing I know how to play them well; AKs has had some bad luck tho and I'm down $800 tho (that wuz one hand from 2/4 when I wuz stuck and took a shot and got coolered to KK preflop HU this guy ran unreal; otherwise I would be even from it).

Biggest losers- 97o (yea I can't believe it either)- from one pot when I took a shot at 2/4 and I thought I played a hand somewut well though I sensed weakness and should have c/r turn!!
He ended up hitting the river one outer on me; what I mean is that this is the ONLY CARD IN THE WORLD HE WOULD HAVE CALLED A SHOVE WITH. Yea, sick. Wow wtf, I don't feel like posting the hh becuz pokerhand.org is not working so I don't no another site. That RELE pisses me off...

NLHE PT Stats: 43.5k hands @ 29/24/3.5 winning $5300 at 4.4BB/100

Limit PT Stats- down $1050 @ -2BB/100 playing 54/44/2 in 3k hands (limit has this kind of variance especially since it wuz HE LHE which is ridic variance even worse than NLHE)

HU NL PT Stats- 13.5k hands winning $3350 @ 8bb/100 playing 36/32/3.

OVERALL SUMMARY: HU is my best game, and if I do come back into poker, I will ONLY play when very motivated I will specialize in hu with occasional 4table of 6max (9 tabling is boring) to mix it up. No more PLO jus becuz it's too swingy and I don't completely understand the game and when hands have edges with FE and all that complicated crap. I have hard enough managing 2 cards, let alone 4 lool. GG for now poker... Updates later on my withdrawl from poker as Mid June approaches, and any good rants that come up. The good thing about this month of playing: I had fun, learned some things about myself and when I play optimal poker and when I play terrible (taking shots when stuck, late nite gambling feeling, etc). At least I made $1k online and soon to be ~$1400 in rakeback playing $.50/1 nl and some $1/$2nl, as well as paying back my $1400 loan from before and this $1300 loan. Soon enough I'll pick up my $3700 from my friend in cash, deposit in bank to be ready to invest, and get ready to focus more on school and havin fun in life. Poker rele sux a lot of that motivation of other things out of u its completely vexxing.

Level stats of NLHE (jus out of curiosity) for 6max
$.40/$.80 deep: - $475.5 at -6.5bb/100 in 4500 hands playing 33/27/3. I would be up like at LEAST $300 but I had a huge day of bad luck and tilt vs a normally overaggro spewy donk.

$.50/$1 nlhe: 10k hands, playign 23/20/3.5 losing $700 at 3.43BB/100 (becuz of recent bad variance)

$1/$2 nlhe: 8500 hands playing 23/19/4 winning $2900 @8.54BB/100

$2/$4 nlhe: 878 losing $1200 @ -17BB/100 (WOW bad run in like 1 or two sessions) playing 21/17/3

Hope you guys have enjoyed my blog so far as I have enjoyed writing it and reflecting on the accomplishments and struggles of low-mid stakes of Online poker for an average student and the effect on everyday life.